Peace be upon you.

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A flawed novice observer.
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The crowd.

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Observation: That bunch of guys.

Just a little reminder..

..I'm not sexist or anything.
Just voicing out my opinion.

I mean,
whatever you're going to read down here.. may not actually apply to ALL guys.
Huh, whatevs.


They keep it clear.
If they hate you, they'll make sure you know about it.
If they like you, they'll let you know. In their own way. ;)
That way, no emotional turmoil. No lies. No drama. Just simple truth, pain and forgiveness.


They look out for their friends.
(yeah, I know girls look out for their friends too.. only in a more.. say, sensible way.)
Some fugly dude beat you?
Tell daddy, he'll beat him up so bad, he'll sing soprano for the rest of the week.
Some gangsta acted like he owned the world.. and you?
Tell 'em, man - that gangsta will think twice next time.
Sucky job? Your girl left you?
Call them - and they'll take you out for a chat.


They actually bond.
(yeah, girls bond too.. but honestly, when is the last time you saw a girl smiled at another JUST LIKE THAT?)
This, of all traits I've ever seen in guys, is the one I respect the most.
I've seen this then at PLKN.
I really respect the way they solve problems.
 They gather up, and discuss.
All the truth came out. No lies - it's just a waste of time.
Even now in campus.
My bunch of male classmates.
The bunch that can go, "whaddup, man?" to any guy of any age.
Girls? Full of curiousity and scrutiny. XD
As it stands.. girls will always be girls.
If bonding is THIS SIMPLE, I'll smile till my cheeks hurt.

When they want something,
Be it a girl, a trophy, an exam result slip that says straight As, even a way out of trouble.
The last one makes this trait sound sinister..
.. but hey, what's not to like about blind determination?


Some guys actually know how to use their brains.
(if some girls learn how to use it for once in their lives, there'll be peace. REAL peace.)
They stop.. and think.
They don't waste time worrying.
They just look for a way out of a problem.
They don't waste time on anything they don't care about.
And on anyone who doesn't care about them.

----------- * ------------

Hey girls, I'm not prejudiced. Like I said, it's an observation.
You wanna hate me for it?
Hahah, be my guest. As if you know a shit about me. XD
Try to learn from these guys and understand why are they so laid back.
Just try it. Save the drama. :D
Like everyone else.. we just wanna come and go in peace.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Happenings within the heart :)))

Someone just made my heart flutter.
A bit. Just a bit.
He's kinda nice to look at.
He's decent.
He's average.
He's pretty smart. Well, a girl can hope. ;)

 Above all.. he looks kinda cute when he smiles.
(Gosh, who doesn't, for God's sake?)

I have my attention on him before the night I became a waitress. :p
(Some might actually get a hint there)
There's something diff that night, tho.
Not sure what.
But I gripped my heart close to my chest.
Not willing to fall for him too soon.
Partly because I'm not sure he felt the same.
And also because I'm not ready to be so open just yet.
 To be held in a relationship.
To be vulnerable in front of someone.

But the sight of him..
.. actually made me react differently than what I am.. and used to be.

Not yet. Not yet.
Too soon.

But I'll enjoy the view anyway. ;)

Estrella - Ternyata.mp3

Hahah, jiwang aku malam ni!

Tuesday, March 22, 2011


I have no idea what to type here, really.

Partly because there's just too much that has happened, I really don't know where to start. :/

And the truth is.. I prefer typing about my observations on anything I see than about my life. So, down here.. are really just observations.

Well.. I.. uh, just found out some guy I was interested in is now taken.
Lucky girl. << a friend questions this statement.. she might have a point. He's reckless like hell, anyway.

There's a.. misunderstanding (as I see it) which wouldn't have happened if the people around the accused (LOL) would just try to understand their friends better instead of jumping into conclusions.
Gosh, such bullshit. XD

Mum at home is feverish. What better way to fall asleep than to hear your mum gets even more frequently sick, huh?

Shopping! On a low budget. I'm looking for a new pair of sneakers. And a pair of plaid shirts. ANY brand, I'm less picky that way. ;)

Assignments. Well3.

Oh, what the fuck.. no shit, no life. That's life.

You know, watching others going all lovey dovey with their dearest did get me going,
"I wish I can feel that too.. even for a short while."

But somehow, I don't feel like it yet.

The feeling of being vulnerable, able to trust, and to be open to whoever that person might be..
It kinda gives me the.. shivers?

I don't mind dealing with any kind of pain - anything but regarding trust.

Not over that pain yet.

I can only hope and pray.. that one day, I'll be willing to open up to someone.

And then wait for it to be answered.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Same shit again. No shit.

Something went wrong. What happened?
We used to joke. Chat about anything. Not anymore now.

I could follow you to the beginning
Just to relive the start
Maybe then we'll remember to slow down
At all of our favourite parts

All I wanted was you.

I'm letting this go.. but I can't give up.
I'm still gonna try and reach out to you.. I'm just afraid I'll lose faith a little too early.

I'm not gonna ask you to grow up,
coz even I don't wanna grow up.

I'm not gonna ask you to change,
because even I don't change unless it's because I have to.. and want to.

I only ask.. the next time you want to ask me to do a (reckless) favour for you..
.. think of the ones waiting for you at home.

All the favours I did for you.. wasn't and isn't and never will be for you.
I did whatever I did to you (or anyone, for that matter) only to gain
His blessings.

I've already lost one.
Do remember that.

And I still care for you.. you crazy, reckless, selfish idiot.

Friday, March 18, 2011

March 15th, 2011. :)


The warmth of the day and the people who were there that day is still felt to this day.

My status in fb.. actually, I mean it. :)

Earlier on, I went out with them to buy bus tix since I'm coming home for the weekend. But then they decided to buy it on the day of, on the spot - bummer.
So basically we ended up lepaking. :D
At McD.
There, we're just chillin', acting like mental patients, laughing our asses off. I do the usual - taking pictures of them doing all that. XD

Hahah, meet the (18-year-old) class rep, Nazri aka Naz aka Hitter (for his reputation in Counter Strike, LOL)
Jijot and Aten. Yes, they are. :)))

Standing, from left: Paan aka Panjang, Aiem, Nasrullah. Sitting, from the back: Raja aka Genchute (like paraCHUTE), Nazri, Jannah, Qilla, Ikin, Fisah (the 21-year-old assistant class rep). All of us are waiting for our tables at this time.

From left: Alin, Aten, Jijot, Nazri.
Agak gile di situ.
The sauces.. all lined up to go with the fries and burgers. Left, from the back: Wana, Madi, Fisah, Ikin. Right, from the back: Jannah, Qilla, Eca (no, no not a guy)
Doing what they do best. :D

Until 4 of my buds walked into McD with a cake, singing THAT song.

I was like, '.....'
Blank nk mati.. otak pending..

In case you can't read it, it says, 'Syah Menggila.' Syah going crazy. The 'tagline'. Real nice. :D

Seriously.. I didn't expect ANYTHING. The best present I could ever ask for - to me, at least - is just one whole day with nothing but THEM.
But thanks to them (and to Him) I got so much more.. never felt so grateful + blessed + happy my entire life.

Panjang 1 and Panjang 2. Again, yes, they are. :)))


Hahahah XD

Genchute. Occasionally called Gen-cute, LOL. Also a CS gamer, like Naz. Only million times crazier. When he laughs, I can't help laughing, coz he sounds so funny. But he makes people laugh all the time so basically he's good for health. XD

My present, Lomo/Mimi the dolphin. Yay, not pink! Not over-furry, too. Hahah, they knew about it so they gave this. Real thoughtful of them. :)))

OIII! Agak2 aa.. Alin nk lalu la. XD

There was a bunch of Chinese teenagers sitting behind us, doing their thing.
Not quite long after that, as they were about to leave, one of them - a girl - tapped me on the shoulder and whispered, "happy birthday."
I went, "Waaaa! Thanks2!" <<--- still blank nk mati, otak still pending.. so x tau cemane nk react. XD

Then we put the cake icing into appropriate use. XD

My face got attacked by 3 people.. and the 'chunk' just got bigger everytime.. with the last one consisting with the cake 'ornament' itself. Real sweet. XD

Then we just hang out for a while.. and the worker who gave us the tables said usually the birthday girl/boy
would get splashed with water.
HAHAHAHAH, nasib x kne. XD
She also wished me happy birthday, and I replied, "thanks."

Meet my dolphin, Lomo/Mimi (couldn't pick which one)!

Peluk ketat2 every night. Lena tdo. :)))

Then we went for karaoke. All the jiwang karat songs that we sang.. we sang like katak panggil hujan.
(not all la. XD)
Jijot dedicated a song, 'Kenangan Terindah' for me. It's real sweet of him, he said, "biar hari ini menjadi kenangan yang terindah untuk Syah."
It's a shame I went out halfway thru the song, coz I got a call. :p

But it's the thought that counts, and it meant the world to me.

The funny thing was that just when we're gearing up to sing 'My Heart'.. we instead got the dangdut version of the song, complete with guys with funny moves and girls with 'bendy' bodies.. all there for us to see and laugh at. A huge contrast of the actual version. XD

The crazy bit of the day is that we have replacement class at 8pm, and we arrived at the campus sometime around 7.30pm. Real sleek. XD

It's fine, tho. The lecturer came in quite late anyway. :p

I gosok2 my face the entire time.. coz it's itchy all over, thanks to the cake icing. For almost 2 hours straight, I was scratching (not until bleeding la) and trying not to burst out laughing at what happened that day.
What the hell. XD

But it's one awesome day. One I'll never forget. Being surrounded by such sweet, adorable, and crazy friends like them on this day (and every other day)..
.. it's a treasure for which I'm grateful for.. and wouldn't trade for anything, God forbid.

Thank you so much for.. everything. :D

p.s. i wish shortie was there..

Saturday, March 12, 2011

I miss my dad.

It's March.. and it's less than 3 months away until it became one full year of his passing.

It felt so weird not having him around. Not having mum SMSing me the current score of any match. Not having anyone to drop by and visit.

It's not that I want them to visit - I want my space and privacy. They would just come - they just do. That's the way it was when I was still in PLKN.

I don't miss them visiting me - I miss having him around.

I miss HIM.

He showed his love not by saying I love you. Or mess up my hair. Or a peck on a cheek.

He showed it by making sure the food supply is.. er, maintained (?). Just when I thought Milo dh abes, bukak kabinet - *ping* - it's there. Maggi? X yah cite la. Sentiase ade. Asal ade bola je aku disuruhnye masak.. tmbh telo. Kopi pun same. Bleh perli aku letak kopi lebih sgt. The day before I saw the last bottle of Twister dh abis. Aiyaaa. Then the next day, bukak peti ais - tadaa! - dua botol oren-flavoured mariiii.  XD

So skang lekat la tabiat minum air tu. So, the guy - who happened to be a Twister guy - has nothing to do with it. If I said or acted like it was - that is A LIE.

He showed it by pointing out who's who in football everytime we're watching a match. He'll point at a guy on the screen and say, "he's Polish. He plays for Germany, but he's Polish. See? He's not singing the anthem."

That was when I was 14 - we're watching World Cup 2006. And BTW, he's refering to Podolski. :D

And he's already gone just when I hoped to watch World Cup with him again when I returned from PLKN.

He showed it by giving me advices. Bile die bg nasihat.. mmg smpai nangis2. Right after he's done giving me advice, I would get mad.. but not long after that, I would understand what he meant, what he wanted for me..

.. and that actually he's worried shitless I'm acting so calm on a matter so BIG.

He cared for us in his own way, and it's NEVER thru 'I love you'. And I think I adopted that trait. I did well - and better later on - in English because of him. Kalau aku terbangge telebih ke, sori sgt la - sape x bangge.. warisan from my dad yg paling bergune is English. Bahkan kalau korg nk aku ajarkan, aku mmg akan ajar. He saw me reading Reader's Digest one day, and he offered, "Nak Papa subscribe ke? Bgus bce bnde tu." I didn't say a word - not a yes nor a no - igt murah ke subscribe bnde tu?

But he did. Tau2 ade one copy terbalut cantik atas meja. Tersenyum sensorg la aku bile tgh bce.. terpikirkan ayah aku buat jgk, pdhal x minx pun.

Kalau mak ngan kakak2 aku kuar, aku slalunye stay kat umah. Sbb ape? Aku x nak ayah aku sensorg kat umah. Sekurg2nye ade la org nk buatkan die kopi, hahahah. :D

Anyway, there you go. This was my dad.

Safian bin Noordin Ali (12/11/1952 - 2/6/2010)
Ye, [arwah] bapak aku hensem. :D

Al-Fatihah. :)

Monday, March 7, 2011


I've got really sweet friends.

Who I ignore when I have facebook in my hands. XD

Anyway, I'll begin with the typical line - they're the craziest bunch of people around.
I don't know what to say about them - or rather, where to begin - but I can safely say I care for them.
They take me in for who I am. We stick together thru thick and thin.
We try to help each other to succeed [and escape trouble and 'boredom' when necessary].
I hope, by His grace, this friendship will benefit us in many ways.. even if it doesn't last forever. ;)
I'm crushing on a guy. Hahah, he's only a little taller than me, helplessly reckless when it comes to finishing assignments, and quite [extremely] shy. Oh, and he supports MU. XD
But he's the nicest person around. He helped me thru my problems with my friends. He changed my view on life at times. He has [really] good humour [because he's crazy]. And sometimes.. he's quite a prankster. :D

Well, he's [kinda] nice to look at. But not nice to touch - he's quite religious. No matter, no matter - if, by God's will, we ended up together, at least I know he won't look for other girls. And even if we don't, it's refreshing to have someone who has a grip on his or herself.. and lucky the girl who wins his heart. :D

It dawned on me then that nothing - again, NOTHING - lasts forever. It'll end at some point. It somehow does.
But I'll stop at nothing to make sure it ends with a bang. XD
And that WE managed to leave a mark that will be glued in our minds.. long enough to keep it and talk about it later to our grandchildren.

I love the feeling I get when I get back into my room - that I had the chance to have a blast with my buds. It's all thanks to Him.. and to them. :)