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Friday, December 24, 2010

Johor. :|

Friday has just arrived - it's past midnight. In a couple of days time I'll be leaving for Johor.. a journey in which I hope I'll have His protection until my 3 years are over. I'll be there on my own - simply put, if anything goes wrong there, I have to deal with it on my own. THAT's a challenge I'm actually looking forward to, since I'm dying to know how much I can do on my own in this period of time. I finally got this chance so let's pray I don't screw this up.

Yes, I'm dying to get out of this house and explore! WEEEEEE!

It goes without saying that it'll be tough adjusting to it, but then, I'm sure everyone who will be coming to the campus on the same day as I do felt just as nervous and excited as I am, so I pray that I get to face this with them and get out of it with them as well. In a sense, I'm alone and yet I'm not alone. Okaaayy that's lame..

I don't know how my mum can cope with this, what more with since he 'left' - it'll be hours with the kids all day - and in those hours I can't help but feel that she'll.. well, look back, you know. Not to mention she's kinda jumpy these days. She'll freak out if she couldn't figure out a solution to a small trouble. Just today we got in the car and as she drove out looking for the exit - and couldn't find it - she freaked out. I told her to relax and just keep driving and that she'll find it. That's major, dude. And she went all out worrying about me. Duuuude..

I don't know how my sisters will take care of her - she mentioned she didn't like their attitude at times - somehow, in my eyes, it's like SHE took care of them. She washed their clothes and fold it, feed the kids, cooked dinner, cleaned the house. Can you imagine how fucking tired this old woman is? They paid the bills, alright, there's no denying that. But with all that money.. I THOUGHT they could do so much more. They're not filthy rich.. but still, from my view.. I hate the way things look.

For her sake, I have to adapt to a new environment and take good care of myself, and I'll do it. She doesn't need to waste her time worrying about me - that habit never helped me even for a bit.

As Paramore puts it in Where The Lines Overlap -

"I'm not used to it, but I can learn
There's nothing to it, I've never been happier"

That pretty much sums it up.

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