Loop.

Peace be upon you.

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Endorphins
A flawed novice observer.
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The crowd.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

MODUL PART 2, muahahah.



Ok, x yah la nak cite pasal aktiviti die. Rasenye korg pun merase bnde yg lebih kurg jgk.
Aku satu modul ngan Rooney, Pidot ngan Johnny.

Berkenalan ngan macam2 spesies yg secare ringkasnye layaklah dikelaskan sebagai gileeee. :D
Tp dalam ramai2 tu aku igt 2 org je - Fezo ngan Epi.



Sbb ape? Sbb diorg gile tahap gaban. Sapekah Fezo? Hmm. Lau ade di antara korg yg Sem 1 dlu Kesatria Negara, kompeni Alpha n ade pegi camping kat Tebing Tinggi, mesti ko igt sorg mamat ni yg jerit, "ANGER IS A WEAKNESS!" smbil head bang cam org gile tuh. Lupe dh group mne.. tp mmg imej tuh terlekat dlm otak aku. Terkejut tau x!

Also, saye juge ade la cuci2 mate. Ade la gak seorg lelaki yg bile die senyum..

.. hensem sgt hensem woww.
(bg aku la die hensem)


So pabile di'combine'kan faktor2 di atas.. aku ENJOY modul tuh.
Sume aktiviti tu aku selitkan ngan gelak x abis2.
Gelak, gelak dan gelak lagiii.


Sbb diorg la, bkn aktiviti tuh ataupun lecturer yg handle tuh. :D


Rsenye tu je kot.
Now back to assignments..

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

The fight for you is all I've ever known - a homesick post.







Sorry, Ma. Not this week. Cancel plan. :)
(pdhal die yg beriya2, terhegeh2 nk balik)
Ade meeting. And a few other things.
Please, PLEASE take care of yourself there.


(deep down sebenanye berharap sejarah xkan berulang lagi.. Ya Allah jagelah die sementare aku di sini)


But yeah, I miss home.



I miss my family.. however sick I am with them sometimes. :p
< My father, a soldier, my (smiling) hero. :) >






My mum. For eternity, and to the infinity.






I miss hanging out with my neighbour/classmate/pren, Sabbie!
Tgk wayang smpai lebam, makan McD, then soggip2 sket.. all that. :)))


The truth is.. I just miss being normal.
Being me. Just for a day.
Not having to think about assignments, duties, and side problems yg sebok2 je dtg dlm idop aku..

Just me and some time alone, maybe.
Just some time to breathe.



Dear Home, please wait for me.
And pray that I'll reach there safely.
One day, amiin.




Monday, June 13, 2011

Our memories depend on a faulty camera in our minds.




And it came to me then, that every plan
Is a tiny prayer to Father Time
As I stared at my shoes in the ICU
That reeked of piss and 409
And I rationed my breaths, as I said to myself
That I've already taken too much today
As each descending peak of the LCD
Took you a little farther away from me.. away from me

Amongst the vending machines and year-old magazines
At a place where we only say goodbye
It stung like a violent wind that our memories depend
On a faulty camera in our minds
But I knew that you were the truth
I would rather lose
Than to have never lain beside at all
And I looked around at all the eyes on the ground
As the TV entertained itself

'Cause there's no comfort in the waiting room
Just nervous paces, bracing for bad news
And then the nurse comes 'round
And everyone lift their heads
And I'm thinking of what Sarah said

That love is watching someone dies.

So who's gonna watch you die?
So who's gonna watch you die?



Sunday, June 12, 2011

I'm not used to it.. but I can learn.



There's nothing to it

(Paramore - Where The Lines Overlap)



Surely it's bit too early to say we've made it.

Tapi sekurang2nye.. bersyukurlah dapat masuk Semester 2.

Dah masuk sem 2 ni.. bertambah2 la segale.

Assignments. Duties.



Assignments. Mind the plural. That S. Hahah, bayangkan baru hari kedua dah dapat 2 esemen yang gempak!
Standard la tu kan. Hmph. :)

Tang duties tu yang agak mencabar tu. Maklumlah, baru lagi.
Baru nak blaja. Baru nak merase. Baru nak biasekan diri.
Lain org, lain care.
Caye x lau aku kate aku sebenanye enjoy handle student2 time ko?
Yg tu je la aku enjoy. Cube sehabis baik utk x ragging. Alhamdulillah, tercapai. :D
Bknnye aku nk latih diorg jd tentera pun. Just nk didik diorg supaya berdisiplin.
Yg lain tu.. mungkin perlukan mase. X perlu suke pun.
Just biasekan diri.



Baru2 ni ade Unifest. Antara 7 hari yang wujud tu, hari Rabu gak dipilihnye.
Hari koko, hari pakai baju OG aka full U.
Hahah, takat kne sakat2 tu dah biase daaaa. XD
Dalam Unifest tu aku daftar kat Karisma, Phocus, Catur ngan.. lupe plak.
Haaa! Kruise. Heheh, baru igt. :p



Baru2 ni.. as in hari ni, beberape jam yang lalu,
dak2 komander ade PT pagi.
Syok gak.
Lari2. Pastu pumping. Pastu lari. Pastu angkat kaki 6 inci, dan sit up.
Pastu lari lg. Then angkat org, stail pertolongan cemas. Senang cite cam angkat anak la.
Pandai2 la berimaginasi. :D
Pastu angkat lagi. This time, ngan care ayah angkat anak.
Bkn piggy back.
Bayangkan - aku dok cangkung, pastu org tu akan kangkang atas aku,
then aku kepit kaki die dan dia akan duduk,
dan aku kendong die.
Syaratnye? Senang je. Yg duduk tu statik je la.
Lau jatuh nasib la. :D
Dah 3 org aku angkat hari ni.. ish..


Cam nak patah je pinggang ni. Tapi best. :)))


So far, aku leh tahan lagi, alhamdulillah.
Atas dorongan mmbr2.. cam Haqim, Niena.. ngan ibu aku..
aku nk try dulu sem ni.
Tgk sejauh mane aku mmpu bertahan. Sejauh mane aku mmpu pergi.


Thank you for the support. I really, REALLY appreciate it. :)



Aku berdoa supaya aku dapat tahan saaampai abis diploma ni.
Mohon dipanjangkan rezeki aku di sini.
X lalai dalam menjalankan tanggungjawab.
Dan pelajaran aku terjamin.



Friday, June 10, 2011

Pulanglah kau kepadaNya.



Kini lebih banyak ucapan 'selamat tinggal' diungkapkan.

Selamat tinggal, LIBK.
Selamat tinggal, UiTM.


 Yang baru..

Selamat tinggal.. keluarga, sahabat.. dan dunia.
Aku akan berangkat ke sana untuk menghadapNya.


Ya Allah! Dia masih lagi muda. Sebaya diriku. Dan seperti diriku juga.. dia juga baru saja kehilangan kasih sayang seorang insan bernama Ayah.

Amin Azhar. Al-Fatihah untukmu.

Dulu dia salah seorang wira kompeniku dalam PLKN Jugra, Banting, kompeni Charlie. Ke mana saja dia pergi, mesti bersongkok.
Dan dialah antara yang bersemangat tinggi dalam Charlie.
Sungguh, aku berbangga dapat mengenalinya.. walaupun hanya untuk sejenak.



Ingin aku jadikan pemergiannya sebagai pengajaran untuk diriku yang taklah mulia mana.
Dan bagi mereka yang membaca post ini.
Bahawa maut tidak mengenal usia.
Maut datang menghampiri tanpa kita sedari.
Dan setiap ujian yang menimpa hambaNya (dalam hal ini, keluarganya dan sahabatnya), pasti ada hikmahnya.



Hadiahkanlah Al-Fatihah untuknya, pembaca2 sekalian.



Monday, June 6, 2011

I told a friend that..




.. I'm no longer happy.
How much I miss them.
My spirit is at its lowest.
I have no one to turn to.

And that I'm still looking for a reason to stay.





In return, he told me..

.. to be patient.
He didn't like it much either.. but he has to go thru it all.. for his friends' sake.
In time, we'll all meet again.
Don't be sad, and keep the spirit up.

And don't give up.




(I'm trying.. I'll stay. For now.)

Thank you. Didn't know how much I needed that till now.


Looking forward to the day which all of us will gather 'round again.


(Still trying to get back the smile and laughter I used to have)



Sunday, June 5, 2011

Now that you're gone, the world.. is ours.








You were my conscience, so silent now you’re like water
And we started drowning, not like we’d sink any farther.
But I let my heart go, it’s somewhere down the bottom.
But I’ll get a new one, come back from the hope that you’ve stolen.



I’ll stop the whole world, I’ll stop the whole world
From turning into a monster, and eating us alive
Don’t you ever wonder how we survive?
Well now that you're gone, the world is ours.



I’m only human, I’ve got a skeleton in me
but I’m not the villain, despite what you’re always preaching.
Call me a traitor, I’m just collecting your victims
And they’re getting stronger
I hear them calling.



I’ll stop the whole world, I’ll stop the whole world
From turning into a monster, and eating us alive
Don’t you ever wonder how we survive?
Well now that you're gone, the world is ours.



Well you find your strength in solutions
but I liked the tension
And not always knowing the answers
You’re gonna lose it
You’re gonna lose it



I’ll stop the whole world, I’ll stop the whole world
From turning into a monster, and eating us alive
Don’t you ever wonder how we survive?
Well now that you're gone, the world..




I’ll stop the whole world, I’ll stop the whole world
From turning into a monster, and eating us alive
Don’t you ever wonder how we survive?
Well now that you're gone, the world is ours.



Thursday, June 2, 2011

My dearest.



Father.


I just want to tell you I miss you so much.
And that I wish I could ask you how to deal with this new life..


 .. starting by how to shine my boots. :D

You were in army, so it's only natural I should ask you.
And your boots are shiny. :)

Where it all started.
Yes. My father looks so handsome in that uniform. :)))




Once,
Mama showed me the card you gave her.
 Such charming words. XD
I remember the last line.

"You are the first lady I have ever said.. I love you."

 Smooth, Pa. Real smooth. :)))


And you stay true to it - you loved her till your last breath.
She may not show it - but she misses you dearly.


Maybe more than my sisters and I do. Only God knows.




Being a commander reminds me of you everyday.
Every.. single.. day.
Everytime my eyes fell on those boots,
I'll imagine myself shining them with you.
With your (patient) help and guidance.

Dear Father, June 2nd marks the first year of your departure.
There were 2 things that happened that day that made me think of you.
The BEL lecturer complimented me for my English.
(this.. I owe you for the rest of my life.)
And a friend said I look a lot more like you than Ma.
(same EPL team, same taste in food, same preference for uniforms.. mmg anak ayah aku ni.)


Dearest father.. I love you.

I hope and pray.. if I ever fall in love, he'll be just like you.

Al-Fatihah. :)


(P. S. my friend said Hi. He's really crazy. But he's great.)