Peace be upon you.

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A flawed novice observer.
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The crowd.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

To my beloved mental patients.

You are my partner in crime, my confidante, my musical adviser.
LOL, musical adviser.
You are the cheekiest, most cunning 12-year-old
I have ever encountered.
I have seen you winning and losing - but completely happy? Not yet.
Maybe one day. Let me know when it comes!
Also, I cannot deny that I have a lot to thank you for.
So, in one simple statement,
thank you for this bond we have.

perhaps the last days we had were not well spent.
Not to mention, there were things I left unsaid.
And there are things you have yet to know.
The moment I embraced you on our last paper
how I broke down
confirmed how much you mean to me.
I like the way you are now; stay that way.
You have my utmost support.
Thank you for all the great lessons you taught me.

you have a girl now. You are about to marry her.
Do as Batman told you,
'hold on to that feeling.'
I don't know how much help I could be for you,
but I can assure you I will try my best.
If you want to talk,
let me know - I'll pick a time where you can talk all you want.
Listening to stories is one of the things I love doing. :)

quite frankly, I see you less and less and I don't know why.
But Batman and Terminator would always tell me about you
so at least I get to keep tabs on you.
You have started to get more busy with your emceeing and sports.
I suppose you are, at least.
Whatever it is you want to achieve, go for it;
for I believe in you.
Please don't mess up your studies, though.

I know my.. friend could be a handful to handle.
He's weird that way. He gets on my nerves too.
But he's a nice guy once you get past it.
Be his friend, and if, and only if
things are going good, proceed to the next level if you want;
you have my approval.
You handle him better than I do.
As for the other guy, ah well,
just be patient. Otherwise, ask Batman to help you out.

I love you.
It is not often I actually wanted so much for anyone,
therefore now I must admit,
I am now vulnerable to you;
people could hurt me through you,
and you have what it takes to hurt me.
I won't tell you to not hurt me;
people will get hurt anyway.

Be happy - that's all I ask.
Be happy, and I will be happy for you.
If you are despaired, I will try to be there.
I don't know how to help you though,
but I will try.

Until then, farewell.

Rakan seperjuangan.

Tiap senyum, tawa, dakapan
masih lagi berbekas.
Tiap perasaan kalian, terserap ke dalam jiwa.

Kutatap gambar kita.
Bangga timbul di hati,
betapa kita telah membesar dan matang bersama.
Namun kita tahu,
setiap yang bermula akan ada akhir,
setiap pertemuan akan ada perpisahan.

Duhai kalian yang berjuang bersamaku
DIIM Disember 2010 - April 2013
ketahuilah, telah kusediakan
satu ruang - di minda, di hati,
di mana segala kenangan kita berhuni.
Arkib yang tersedia khas untuk kalian.

Kurindui keriangan kalian.

Perjalanan kita kini lain lain.
Cita cita kita, lain.
Kemampuan kita, lain.
Namun bersama kita adalah Dia yang satu
dan kuberdoa, kita akan ketemu lagi,
dengan kegirangan serupa remaja
dan kematangan laksana orang terpelajar;

dan mungkin
kita akan panjang bercerita
tentang hikayat kita dahulukala
situasi semasa
dan harapan masa depan.

Kunantikan hari itu.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013


It hit me, rather hard
that happiness is a rare luxury.

For a while you will be happy; and then

And often, you won't leave,
you will hover on that problem
until you actually learn something
and move on.

Just how often do we learn
without getting hurt?

That's life's unspoken rule for you.

If that's the case then..
I will pray for happiness no more.

I will ask for
love, wisdom and courage
and a firm faith to sustain all three.

I am no longer sure if my heart could go through
one sad reality after another;
my heart is slowly wearing out.

"Don't try to be heartless
but try to use your heart less," you said.
I'm sorry, love..
I figured that out too late.

I wish I knew
what keeps me sad though.
It may either be that reality is really just a sad thing..
or that it is just me, looking at life at a wrong angle.

If it is the former, then I hope for a strong heart and mind.
If, however, it is the latter..
then I must begin looking for hope, I guess.

Where do I begin, I wonder..

Since when have I become so afraid of being happy?
I can't stay this way forever, right?