Loop.

Peace be upon you.

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Endorphins
A flawed novice observer.
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The crowd.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

i'm pretty convinced that the family is sick.

my nephews are such an adorable lot! shame on me fro thinking that a 17-year-old will never entirely have fun in taking care of them. hey, the eldest is chaos itself.. but he still is ADORABLE! xD

the eldest, Zeke, is actually pretty darn smart. he understood everything we said, a quick-learner, and to top it off, he's a great bro to his baby bro. not that he defended him from a bunch of thugs-to-be [yet], it's just that.. he really loved his bro. in most cases, they'll get jealous and everything.

however, his dad, my bro-in-law, is now confirmed as a total asshole. which daddy will cut a baby's pacifier and later tell the kid, "see? you did that"?

when i found that out, i'm divided between to stay quiet about this for my sister's sake.. or to go up to that guy.

God only knows how that kid grew up in their home.. let alone how he'll end up to be.

he used my sister's car to work.. and by the time he refueled it, it's half-empt-

scratch that, my mum drove her car once and it's beyond half-empty. needless to say, my mum was pissed.

one thing that he'll do without fail when he came home [a little word: my parents and i helped to take care of their sons until they get home.. which is my home, and will eventually get to their home around.. after 9] is to read newspapers.

my mum got an idea to hide all newspapers away, figuring he'll never.. how you say it? bond with his sons, because he'll be reading newspapers.

seriously, this sucks. hardcore. of all people he could mess with, he messed with his eldest who's only two years old. TWO FUCKING YEARS OLD.

Dear God, he must rot in hell. he's praying all day and this is how he treated his son, my nephew, my parents' grandchild. he must rot in hell. and please.. protect Zeke's baby brother, Shebby - please, not him too.

i told my mum about it. i told her this guy is sick, and she replied he's a psycho.
when i said his family is a bunch of nutheads, she agreed.
and later added, "i'm done thinking about this. my heart's not that strong to keep up with this."
i told her, "mum, he's 2 right now. and he's learning quickly. if he grows up with a guy like that, he'll stay that way and-"
"let it be. i'm done with him! i didn't even bother talking to him just now. let him taste the fruit of his wrongdoings. his time will come."
i'm not relieved with the reply, but, well.. i don't know any better words to say in return.


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want some the fray mp3? :D

twice i witnessed my in-laws came to our home and have a chat, and twice i heard them saying, "he [Zaim] speaks english everytime. 'what's that?' 'wow, train!' 'opah [malay equivalent for grandmother], where are you, opah?'
"he speaks like that all the time and we don't know how to reply! ha ha ha!"
[little more word: in malay community, albeit not entirely, when you speak english fluently, you're either a) a genius or a smart student; or b) you have high standards i.e. rich. it's a sick, stupid, weird, and illogical way of thinking.. but, well, that's how it is in my experience.]

come on, in studying english, all you need is MTV and another MTV fan or a person who can speak both mother tongue and english, as easily as breathing. you listen to a lot of music, explore new bands, and later.. explore the deeper meanings in their lyrics, you're half-way in mastering english lit. english lit.. meaning jane austen. conan doyle. ANYBODY. that's how i did it! :D
and you can.

FAITH [always] GO A LOOOONG WAY. i learned that from experience, so i'm telling you now.

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how about a few paramore mp3? :]

screw anyone who says the band you loved sucks. your ears, your mind, your life. just stay away from black metal at all costs, ok? :D


Friday, February 19, 2010

my thoughts are on..

my mum. my dad. my sisters, one getting married. some time in mid-year.

my parents.. who.. let's just say, prosperity is not on our side right now.
i hope it's just FOR NOW.

my friends who, like me, are on the transition to being young adults.

and me.. who's literally lost. well, i've no job. and i'm dying to get out.

i wonder how the world's REALLY like. some said it's unfair, others.. awesome.

but i wanna judge it for myself. teenagers. being one, i don't know everything.
no matter how much we insist we do - admit it, WE DON'T.

i've read newspapers.. and i wonder, what happened to the world today?

i don't know about you.. but as for me, i just don't know.

i'm on my way to believing.



Paramore - The Only Exception

When I was younger, I saw
My daddy cried and cursed at the wind.
He broke his own heart and I watched
As he tried to reassemble it.
And my mama swore that she would
Never let herself forget.
That was the day that I promised
I'll never sing of love, if it does not exist
But, darling..

You.. are.. the only exception
You.. are.. the only exception
You.. are.. the only exception
You.. are.. the only exception.

Maybe I know.. somewhere
Deep in my soul, that love never lasts.
And we've got to find other ways to make it alone
And keep a straight face.
And I've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable.. distance.
Up until now, I swore to myself that i'm content.. with loneliness
Because none of it was ever worth the risk, but..

You.. are.. the only exception
You.. are.. the only exception
You.. are.. the only exception
You.. are.. the only exception..

I've got a tight grip of reality
But I can't let go of what's in front of me here.
I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up
But leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream.
Whoa.. oh oh oohhh..

You.. are.. the only exception
You.. are.. the only exception
You.. are.. the only exception
You.. are.. the only exception..

You.. are.. the only exception
You.. are.. the only exception
You.. are.. the only exception
You.. are.. the only exception..

And I'm on my way to believing.
Ohh.. and I'm on my way to believing.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

the monday syndicate meets everyone the same.



Halfway around the world lies the one thing that you want
Buried in the ground, hundreds of miles down
The first thing that arises in your mind when you awake
Is bending you 'til you break, let me hold you now

Baby close your eyes, don't open 'til the morning light
Baby don't forget, we haven't lost it all yet

Don't know what you're made of till the one thing that you want
Is coming with the dawn and suddenly changes
The Monday syndicate meets everyone the same
All we've lost to the flame, listen to me now

Baby close your eyes, don't open 'til the morning light
Don't ever forget, we haven't lost it all yet
All we know for sure is all that we are fighting for
Baby, don't forget we haven't lost it all yet

Someday when this is over
We may still have no answer
For now it's when I hold her
We are closer, we are closer, we are closer
We are closer

Baby, close your eyes, don't open 'til the morning light
Don't ever forget, we haven't lost it all yet
All we know for sure is all that we are fighting for
Baby, don't forget we haven't lost it all yet

We are closer
(We haven't lost it all yet) We are closer
Oh, we are closer
We are closer..

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

what a day. :D

i had an awesome day.

i just chilled with my friends, and i made a new one!

we ate at Wendy's. actually, we're [that's Sab, my neighborhood/class/work out mate n i] supposed to meet Lela. she was weeping, literally, last week. she was pissed and lost. apparently her best mate played a cruel joke on her - inventing a character who's 'so falling in love' with her. it would have been.. at least, acceptable and potentially easily forgiven if it was done for a short time and she admitted it's a joke [now that i know the whole stuff, i'm beginning to wonder if it is a joke], but well, she didn't.

in fact, it was happening for a loooooong time, and i'm also cheated.

she used 2 cell phone numbers, made her own brother voiced the voice of this so-called admirer, and.. worst yet, Lela is always in constant trouble with her mum, and she's piling it up with THIS.

i'm beginning to feel so sick of having known her. oh, didn't i mention she changed Lela's Facebook password? owhh... God..

the 3 of us, who've been listening to this as if it's a radio soap opera, wondered what has made her to be so sickly inclined to be doing such thing to her friend whose been trusting her with a lot of secrets of her own, sent her to and from the school, and laughed with all the time when they talked about boys. my new-found friend thought she's just friggin' jealous. of WHAT? didn't she have a similar to her?

that sad story aside, New-found and i are always teasing Lela with one guy at work who seemed to be crushing on her. we had fun. xD it was silly fun, i even forgotten what i said when it happened, but all i remembered.. is that i HAD FUN. no less.

we met Lela's sister's ex. it wasn't awkward, partly because Lela was too distracted with New-found and i to even care.

i just hoped Lela will get over this and live a new and better life.. for i think, after all she did to THAT girl and how she was repaid, she do deserve better.

P. S. i sprained my ankle. BADLY. seemed weird when combined with good newly-made acquaintance with New-found, a great laugh, and an internet session. but it's still AWESOME.