Loop.

Peace be upon you.

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Endorphins
A flawed novice observer.
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The crowd.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Dead Poets Society.






This is the title of
a 1989 movie
which truly blew my mind away.


From what I understand,
the movie is about
how an English teacher
teaches them way beyond the subject;
he in fact encourages his students to broaden their minds
and to seize the day
and how, in the process,
it affects the lives of five colorful young men, eternally.




Broaden their minds seems to be an understatement
but that will do for now.
No spoilers!


And in another words,
he teaches them how to think
instead of what to think.




Wow I don't remember the last time
I actually cried so hard while watching a movie.
It's amazing to see how, over time, each and everyone changes throughout the movie.




It's one of those movies that
make you go "DAMN" when it's over.
It's just that awesome.
Watch it. Go download a torrent or something.





Monday, November 26, 2012

I don't know.






Well, here goes nothing.


Dear crush, the first time I saw you
I thought you looked like.. a nerd.
You know, like, skema.


Days go by and we just bonded.
Just a typical one.
You talk to me and it just flows from there
and vice versa.


Well, we don't do that much anymore.
It's fine.
Things change, and so did we.
I understand.
And I couldn't care less about what effect these words could bring, anyway.
I just want to say it somewhere
since I can't say it to you.


This may sound so.. weird
but I'm really just too shy to say it to you.
Gosh, this is embarrassing 


I never expect that
you
will become
someone
who meant so much to me.


It is as if
no matter how many guys I've seen
and how gorgeous their smile is
none of them
could beat yours.


You have the cutest smile I have ever seen
and as soon as I saw it
I am so stunned I just froze
my mind went completely blank
except to say
"damn why are you so cute?"


I don't know how that can happen
much less why.
I really don't know.


How could our hearts
without our knowledge
flew to someone we can never have?


I don't know.


I wish you well.





Tuesday, November 20, 2012

I am an ummah of one.






Afghanistan is my home town,
Jerusalem is my heart.
I flash a Syrian smile,
I've been Egyptian from the start.
My kindness comes from Pakistan, my style Senegalese.
Yemen and Somalia join two continents at my knees.
A Mauritanian mind, Libyan legs.
Arabian disposition.
Moroccan passion,
Turkish fashion,
Indonesian precision.
My eyes peer from cashmere to a Malaysian setting sun.


My body is indivisible, I am an ummah of one.


(from Tumblr)





Sunday, November 18, 2012

But in time, I will.






 From concrete to trees.
Nothing could be better than that.


Your childhood home.


I remember everything well.


For every time we arrive there
all of you would stay downstairs
while all of us would go upstairs.
All the same people, just different stories.


From children to teenagers
teenagers to young adults
young adults to young parents
and we would still sit before the tube
and troll whatever is on air.
Growing old, but forever young still.


Carrom, TV series, KFC.
The things we do when we were young by age.


And every morning after
Breakfast bought from the markets.
Together.


Oh, I remember it well.


Yesterday I looked at him.
The sun shimmered. Such beautiful, peaceful evening it was.
And once more
I saw your smile
on his face.


The same smile
the same wrinkles
the same memories.


Once again, I saw you.
How I missed you, how it hurts, how hollow it made me feel
and surprisingly, how at peace I was when I saw it
and somehow I felt that
wherever you are
you are okay.


I saw those tears again.
Tears of love felt, memories remembered, broken walls.
Once more.


I would walk out, leaving time to dry those tears.
But after a while, I feel stupid.
Tears fade faster when it is wiped away than to be left dry.
Sorrow shared is half the pain.
Happiness shared is a dose doubled.


Too bad I am too greedy to even share





Friday, November 16, 2012

Muharram at Gaza: the amazement.






Initially, this post is intended to be in my native language
but I figured, with English being among the ones widely used on the globe,
here, I'll post my thoughts.


Well truthfully I'm kind of.. shaken up
in posting about this.
After all, the net community today
is mostly filled with
'look at the amount of faaks I give'
kind of people.
I am afraid of being taunted.
Being wrong.
Being put down.


But I care about this.


Admittedly, sentiments doesn't fix things.
But I want to at least bring attention to this matter
and unite us together, and pray for them.
I truly believe, no matter what religion you believe in
or even if you are an atheist
we learn to love one another.
We want the best for each other.


Today is just like any other day
I would go to Tumblr.
It is where I learn of today's
news
trends
people
knowledge.
Amazing how fast things can spread thanks to mass media.


Today, posts on Gaza
literally ruled my dashboard
in between pics of 1D, some hipster stuff
and science stuff.
I Googled Gaza and found that Gaza has been bombed,
in defence for the bombing caused by Gaza.


So it's like
the best defence is a great offence.
If that's the case then,
it's no wonder they shot back.
If Israel can shoot a missile 'in defence',
then it's no wonder they shot back
after all that befall on them all these years.
Palestinians have been running here and there
for so many years.
Peace is just a distant dream.


Here's the thing.
Israel stole the land.
Depopulate thousands of people from there.
Tortured the residents. Kids, even.
Not to mention dropping bombs there
which inevitably took many lives.
It took many, many lives
that could have have the power to change Gaza
and later, the world itself.


It is as if all the ideas, chances, the peace
died along with them.


It's like stealing made legal
and the tortures were overlooked
and they didn't pay the price.
Now that's twisted.
Amazing how the constitution can shapeshifted into whatever form
to make this legal.




This schoolgirl could have grown up
to be a teacher,
where she could bring forth the light of knowledge and wisdom
to the incoming generations.
Amazing how a lifelong dream can be destroyed
by a stray bullet in mere seconds.


I don't like what is being done to the people
in Gaza, Syria, Rohingya.
I don't like wars.
I don't like people who disturbs the peace.
I don't like dreams being crushed to pieces.
I don't like hopes being taken away.


All my life, I prayed for everything that I have today
and I got what I prayed for, praise be to Allah.
The power of a prayer is not to be doubted.
Islam, from what I understand, is a religion of optimism,
where every setback is a chance to success and victory.
Islam is a religion that teaches that hard work
will get you a long way,
and one's condition will never change until one actually works for it.
Islam is a religion of peace,
and Muhammad (peace be upon him) is the definition of peace and love itself.
Islam taught me to do something to achieve what I want.


Surah al-Ra'd, 11.


And with this post,
I wish people regardless of faith to look at the people of Gaza;
reflect on what they have been dealing with,
look back at all the privileges we have,
and to be thankful, and pray for their peace.
Peace for Gaza, Syria, Rohingya
everywhere in the world.


I don't know how much change can be done.
But I know.. that I tried.


This is what I have observed and understand.
I truly appreciate your time for reading this.


Naive as it is, I just want peace for the world.





Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Just a feeling.






I don't know what word
could I possibly use to describe this feeling.


I feel happy.
I feel sad.
And yet I am content,
as if everything that I have is enough.
It all felt enough.


I feel.. complete.


I don't know why.


But I kind of like this feeling.
Praise be to Allah.





Monday, November 12, 2012

My guardian angel.






Your blood will flow in my veins
until the end of me.

I will contain your strength in my body
until there is no more left.

Your smile, I would wear on my face
as something that I can share.

I will forever remember your hands
that has for many times held mine.

Your kindness, I will follow suit
for as long as I shall live.

Your patience, I will try to practice
just like how you have been patient with us.

Your silent wisdom, I will try to achieve
by reading, just like how you have taught us since we were young.

I could find a thousand substitutes to you;
but no one could ever replace you.

However, if Allah has set that I will find
someone like you
on the face of the earth,
therefore, Papa,


my life might just be perfect again.


If I could find a mirror of you,
I might have just found my guardian angel;
because you are the only one I could trust
to protect me.

I wish, I pray,
whoever I might love someday
be it as a friend, as a family, or as a forever after
they would be just like you.

You, Papa,
my guardian angel.





Happy
what could have been your
60th
glorious
birthday.





Al-Fatihah.





Friday, November 9, 2012

A random memory.








In a memory so vivid, I remember
a stroll, together.


Maybe, one day, we could go
in the morning, when it is calm and cool.
Or in the evening, with its warmth and peace.
Or perhaps in the night; under the moon and the stars.


Distance will pull us apart,
but time will eventually bring us back together.


However far we may be
even if a few of us may have different time zones than the rest
remember that we still live under the same glorious sky.


And I pray
that He will be looking out for you.





One song is all it takes.









Run For Your Life by The Fray on Grooveshark



Lyrics | The Fray lyrics - Run For Your Life lyrics


There you go; my favorite acoustic version, the actual song and the lyrics.
Knock yourself out.


The reason I put the song here is because
this song literally shot me right through the heart.
The first time I heard it,
it didn't actually have a huge impact instantly;
but after a while it just grows on you
and the next thing you know,
everything about the song
just stuns you.


We all have a song or two
that has an impact on us.
To me, this is the one.


The lyrics, which for some unknown reason, cause me to tear up;
the harmony in the strings, the piano and the drums;
the way it was sung which gives emotion to the song in itself;
and the after-effects you feel when it ends.



All the sudden when this song plays
my whole life starts to flash before my eyes like a life-long movie
and it dawned to me then that my life is actually pretty messed up.
Mostly, my fault.
And for a good few minutes, I would just sit somewhere
and just embrace that feeling and cry myself out
and feel relieved afterwards.


Yeah, the effect on me was really to that extend.



The band is a personal favorite ever since I was 13 or 14.
They are amazing in the album,
and even more ridiculously awesome live.
I have changed my playlist for so many times;
I've included and removed metal, dubstep, house, techno, rock, instrumental
but this band stays in the playlist.


Well, to me, they are perrrrfect. Haha


The wait for the exam results has started to wreck my nerves
so I'll blog about something again after this
just to get a grip on myself.


Till then.