Loop.

Peace be upon you.

My Photo
Endorphins
A flawed novice observer.
View my complete profile

The crowd.

Saturday, September 15, 2012

His timing is always perfect.





'Can we have dinner tonight and play chess for a bit?
Go ahead and bring whoever you want.
It's just that.. I had a rough week, and about to have another one coming..
and I wanted to go home so bad,  just to see my mum's face
but I can't.. so if you're free tonight
let's bring our laptops and do.. whatever.'



Had a bad week.
The workload. Chasing deadlines.
Tests. Quizzes. Presentations. Paperworks.
Yeah, typical things of a typical student life.


Except that I don't quite feel like myself lately
and so I messed up.
I screwed up.
Nothing much, really - it's just that I feel I could've done so much better.


Last Wednesday - yup, this week Wednesday
I impulsively called mum, telling her I'm coming home.
Impulsively, because I couldn't hold it in any longer.
It was intended to be a 2-day break; just for the weekend.
Just to see her face.


Simply put, I wanted to go home so bad.
I just want my mum.


Thursday.


Things pop up. And then I had a bad feeling.
And then I called mum, telling her I can't go back
because of my work.


I feel like a total asshole.
I mean
did I just prioritize my work over my mum?
It may only be diploma now.
But what if, by God's grace, I get a job
and then I did it again
and again
and again?


I was down. Down in spirals.
Sent a text to my bro -
'Can we have dinner tonight and play chess for a bit?
Go ahead and bring whoever you want.
It's just that.. I had a rough week, and about to have another one coming..
and I wanted to go home so bad, just to see my mum's face
but I can't.. so if you're free tonight
let's bring our laptops and do.. whatever.'



Typing the text is one thing.
Sending it.. was another.
As much as I want to get it off my system
I don't want to be so selfish
by only thinking of my own.. 'troubles'.
Spent over 40 minutes arguing with myself
'to send or not to send?'


Then I hit backspace on the chess thing, and send it.
But well, when he finally came for dinner
he brought chess sets with him.
Needless to say, alhamdulillah - one of the best nights ever.
On the way back on sending my junior back to her block,
I asked if he got the text.


Turns out he didn't.


Friday.


Didn't know if there was class
so I withdrew some money
and helped a friend for her registration for the MPP election.
And then had brunch with my bro afterwards.


In the afternoon, after Zohor prayers
just when I was about to begin on my assignment
there came a call, from my bro.


"Yes?"
"You ni sure ke ni tak balik?"
"Haah, esok ada discussion untuk buat assignment paper repeat.."
"My Statistics paper tonight got cancelled."
"Eh? Why cancel?"
"Haaa, that's why."
"..."
"Soooo nak balik tak?"
*terkejut* "Eerrrr bila?"
"Kalau boleh sekarang la."
*terus bangun* "Why so fast?!"
"Why so slow?"
"Damn it, man; I'm not in my baju kurung anymore!"
"Haa dah tu cepat la siap! Nak bagi bape lama ni?"
"Err, 30 minutes?"
"Hah? 30 minutes?! Haih.. lamanya.. haa hurry up, cepat siap!"
"Aaaaa ok ok!"


Despite getting a night-time ticket later
and had to wait a reaaaaaally long time for the time to tick in
it was worth it.
The discussion? Bagitau awal awal tak dapat datang
lagipun banyak bahagian dah siap!
Semuanya terima kasih kepada email :)


I told him
"seriously, thanks for the last minute call,
for asking me to come back here with you."
"Why?"
I told him everything, and added,
"I guess, I can't run away from coming home."
He chuckled.


"I had a rough week too."


Funny.
He didn't get the text.
But the timing He has set
and how I actually get to play chess and go home, both thanks to him,
it was mind-blowing; I was out of words as to how to narrate this story better.


But, the way I see it
perhaps, He has chosen coming home
as the best move he and I should take at the time.
And we only followed the course of events
that He had arranged for us.
Indeed, it was worth it.


Thank you, Allah.





2 hello(s):

Sayidah Nafisah Ruslan said...

allah lebih tahu yang terbaik untuk hambanya.. ucaplah alhamdulillah :)

Charlie's Angel said...

Fisah: kan. terasa kasih sayang Dia masa tu. alhamdulillah, for everything. :)