'I am grateful.'

I am grateful that I have to deal with a complicated person like you

because

it reminds me that not all souls have it easy

and that what is a given to one person, may be a rare privilege for another.

I am grateful that I have to deal with a person who is cold but courteous like you

because

it teaches me that while first impressions last,

perceptions are always faulty; and often, we have to dig deeper to know better.

I am grateful that I have to deal with a lovesick puppy

because

it teaches me how much change love could bring to someone,

a change that surprises even me.

I am grateful for having to deal with problems like all of you

because

it serves as a reminder

what a brilliantly lucky asshole I am.

Battles.

To face it is often easier said than done.

However, if words muttered are indeed a prayer,

perhaps a simple "I believe" could bring a small change.

"I believe I am strong."

"I believe I am not alone."

"I believe I am ready."

Small, but a change nonetheless.

It is something that even I find hard to follow at times,

but I guess it is worth the try; so I hope you will try it with me.

Be careful with what you believe yourself to be,

it might just become you; so make it a good one.

Indeed, you are what you think you are.

Momentary.

I share with you my blissful story

not to brag

not to sadden you further

and definitely not to offend you by intent.

I share each of my life's tale with you

to assure you

that if I can have it

then so can you.

If I can be happy, then so can you.

I believe

we all deserve an acute dose of happiness

even if it is just momentary.

We remember happiness.

We remember sorrow better.

And if it were not for the godsend hope

I think you and I will never meet again tomorrow.

Thank You, Allah

for this gift;

temporary as it is.

Lucky you.

You do hold a meaning in my life.

But please don't fancy yourself so special that you think

my bond to you

is the reason why I am capable of tolerating you.

Tolerating you is only possible

as long as I hold on to my principles;

and I'm grateful that I managed to grip to it to this day.

And you are just lucky that I don't blow up to you yet.

To my former dearest,

your text telling me that you're in town

quite surprised me.

Too bad I'll be off to campus this morning.

But thanks anyway for remembering to tell me.

And then you talked about her.

*rolls eyes*

man, you are quite smitten, aren't you?

I was just joking, you know

about making up false epic stories of you

so that she'll consider on starting things with you.

And then you went,

"no need, just tell her what she needs to know.

I know I've been bad to you.

I'm giving you the license to tell her about me."

I didn't know what to think.

But I knew you. I saw you.

Therefore I choose to trust you.

Hey, look

it's true. You've hurt me more than you ever know.

I have been in pain, but this is the worst, because I trusted you.

But in the time we spent to know each other

I found that you do have some good in you.

You are honest, and I need that. Well, we all do.
You just suck horribly at the manners at being honest, that's all.
But honest, nonetheless.
And you do care.
And for that, thank you.


Well technically you're close to perfect.
Except you suck at manners.


Doesn't matter.
The way I see it, it's what inside of you that matters.
Your routine habits, how you talk, those things don't matter to me.
I only care about what you stand for, whether or not you care,
everything that is in your heart.
That's why I stood by you, despite everything.


Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.


I can't change their opinions on you.
I can't tell them to observe like I do.
I can't tell them to look at things the way I do.
I can't tell them to put aside what you did to me.
I can't tell them to try to look at you the way I look at you.
They still couldn't forgive you for what you did to me, and I understand.


We all agree to disagree, and that's fine.


I only wish, that you will take care of her like how you always did to me
and not hurt her like you did to me.


She is still so very young, naive, and timid.
Please take care of my junior - my sister.
I'm gambling everything here.
Don't disappoint me.


I give you my permission
with a silent wish that you will amend your mistakes
through her.


Prove to me
that you are worth that permission.


Please.


O Allah, please protect her..