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Sunday, October 24, 2010

Remember The RED BOOK?


Do you remember the book?

I don't know if you do.. but I do. You probably think, "why do you care about it NOW? It's over and gone."

Well.. a hunch, actually. A hunch that brought me to RoxyGirl's blog. Well, don't know if she still likes Roxy.. but that's just how I remember her. :) And the fact that she kept apologizing all the time for not updating her 'bloggie' is amusing actually.
And so I read her entire blog.. because a hunch told me to. All the way to her first post on June 7th, 2007. And in one of those posts.. I saw the red book being mentioned. I NEVER thought I'll see it THERE.. a sure sign that she did think of it.. even if it's just once.

Just once.

Remember how it all started? We're all 14. Young, crazy, restless.. and of course, happy beyond words. We were crazy mental kids then.

We sang almost every song written in the journal in the bus on the way to the unforgettable camp that year. Move Along. Come Clean. Remember how leeches freak the s--- out of Roxy? Me too. XD

It started with something I wrote in the book. A diary post. Then ParamoreGirl saw what I did.. then she wrote some stuff in there. Crazy s--- stuff. XD
The next thing we know, we're all writing in there.
And it came to me then.. that it's not my journal. It's OUR journal.

Then it become a diary of a group of teenagers. Rojak Gang diary. Didn't know who came out with that name, but I definitely remember why - we're multiracial. I don't know about you.. but I felt like I just found my second home. I felt complete. Content. Perfect.

We wrote every s--- that happened in our lives in there, good and bad. Our crushes. Our.. uh, misunderstandings. Our fun moments. Remember how at one point one of us would say, "can I take it home? 'Cause I wanna read it and update later"? I do.

Then on a particular day.. the red book 'broke into 10 pieces'. But we just write in it anyway.

When there's no more paper left on whatever's left of the journal, I bought a new one. Then some begin to think how pointless this journal thing is. I felt weird. But it didn't matter. Partly because I never asked you to write in it.. so you may write and stop writing when you please, and also because I need a journal for my mind's sake.

2007 came. We're divided. There's no need to talk about the year.. simply 'cause it's a blast, just like last year, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENED. Even if you broke my heart, or the other way round. It doesn't matter.. 'cause even before the year ended, I knew 2008 won't be the same, and that it won't beat the fun we had in year '06 and '07.

It's when we're divided that I decided.. no one cared anymore. I abandoned the Red Journal at the desk.. and didn't bother to pick it up ever since. Up till the end of the year. It's probably incinerated by now.. just like the way it burned away with time.

2008 came. We're growing up.. on diff paces. This growing up process brought us to a number of clashes. Call me cheesy if you wish, but seeing the same people that laughed at AND with each other some time before that.. suddenly going on each other's throats (that's just me being radical, it's really just cold wars and stuff but well, the effects are worse than cold wars, it seemed) is really heart breaking.

Then everything just changed. It's no longer a dream, for now I'm awake to see the reality. It doesn't matter. 'Cause everything comes and goes. The same way my father stayed in my life from day one onwards - March 15th, 1992.. till June 2nd, 2010.

[y]Our smiles are compiled into an collage of pictures in my head I never get bored of looking.
[y]Our laughs are among the best alarm clocks I ever had.. 'cause then, everytime I woke up, I know I'll be seeing you guys and then we'll go kerrrazy.. till 1.50pm, baby. Or 12.30pm on Friday.

Whatever happened that caused this to fade, it doesn't matter, and never will. All that mattered, is that I think of you from time to time, and wish you have everything you wished for.

Above all... I miss you. Take care.

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