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The crowd.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

I miss my dad.

It's March.. and it's less than 3 months away until it became one full year of his passing.

It felt so weird not having him around. Not having mum SMSing me the current score of any match. Not having anyone to drop by and visit.

It's not that I want them to visit - I want my space and privacy. They would just come - they just do. That's the way it was when I was still in PLKN.

I don't miss them visiting me - I miss having him around.

I miss HIM.

He showed his love not by saying I love you. Or mess up my hair. Or a peck on a cheek.

He showed it by making sure the food supply is.. er, maintained (?). Just when I thought Milo dh abes, bukak kabinet - *ping* - it's there. Maggi? X yah cite la. Sentiase ade. Asal ade bola je aku disuruhnye masak.. tmbh telo. Kopi pun same. Bleh perli aku letak kopi lebih sgt. The day before I saw the last bottle of Twister dh abis. Aiyaaa. Then the next day, bukak peti ais - tadaa! - dua botol oren-flavoured mariiii.  XD

So skang lekat la tabiat minum air tu. So, the guy - who happened to be a Twister guy - has nothing to do with it. If I said or acted like it was - that is A LIE.

He showed it by pointing out who's who in football everytime we're watching a match. He'll point at a guy on the screen and say, "he's Polish. He plays for Germany, but he's Polish. See? He's not singing the anthem."

That was when I was 14 - we're watching World Cup 2006. And BTW, he's refering to Podolski. :D

And he's already gone just when I hoped to watch World Cup with him again when I returned from PLKN.

He showed it by giving me advices. Bile die bg nasihat.. mmg smpai nangis2. Right after he's done giving me advice, I would get mad.. but not long after that, I would understand what he meant, what he wanted for me..

.. and that actually he's worried shitless I'm acting so calm on a matter so BIG.

He cared for us in his own way, and it's NEVER thru 'I love you'. And I think I adopted that trait. I did well - and better later on - in English because of him. Kalau aku terbangge telebih ke, sori sgt la - sape x bangge.. warisan from my dad yg paling bergune is English. Bahkan kalau korg nk aku ajarkan, aku mmg akan ajar. He saw me reading Reader's Digest one day, and he offered, "Nak Papa subscribe ke? Bgus bce bnde tu." I didn't say a word - not a yes nor a no - igt murah ke subscribe bnde tu?

But he did. Tau2 ade one copy terbalut cantik atas meja. Tersenyum sensorg la aku bile tgh bce.. terpikirkan ayah aku buat jgk, pdhal x minx pun.

Kalau mak ngan kakak2 aku kuar, aku slalunye stay kat umah. Sbb ape? Aku x nak ayah aku sensorg kat umah. Sekurg2nye ade la org nk buatkan die kopi, hahahah. :D

Anyway, there you go. This was my dad.

Safian bin Noordin Ali (12/11/1952 - 2/6/2010)
Ye, [arwah] bapak aku hensem. :D

Al-Fatihah. :)

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