Peace be upon you.

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A flawed novice observer.
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The crowd.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

I deserved this.

Hey, you.
You piss me off every bloody time.
Everytime I called you after midnight, with 2 SuperSavers without fail
I would always end up laughing, overwhelmed by you.
You would always be so foul. Just the way you are.
We would always end up arguing.
Well, in a jokey way, of course.
Your words never fail to make me wanna say
'double you tee eff'.
And now.. I'm pissed off to the core..

I became pissed and more pissed.
And you.. you're just fanning up the flame..
I knew it was to get the response - ANY response - from me.
Only that I don't know why
and for what purpose, even.
But now I'm sure we're both mad.

And now I missed talking to you more than I thought I would.
More than ever.


I forgot to consider
That you said sorry for not picking up the phone.
That you tried to make me feel better - proud, even
of repeating a paper
saying I'll understand better.
You joked.
You were always YOU
Always teasing.
Always pointing out where I'm wrong.

I missed hanging out with you.
I missed talking to you.
And funny, I even kinda miss your super foul honesty.

I'm sorry I'm being inconsiderate.
I'm sorry for being oversensitive all the time.
I'm sorry for being pissed at you when..
... you just wanted to chat and joke around.

When you said
"you hated to see this face."
I was heartbroken. You were 10 times more heartbroken.
But blinded by anger, I added
and realized it's just too late to take it back
" 'hate' is too strong a word.. but seeing your face pisses me off."
Then it hit me
'Oh God, no.. what have I done..'
But it's too late.. you were even more hurt than I would ever know..
"yeah, sure. my face pisses people off."
And.. seeing you hurt
it kills me.
Now the words that's hurting you
is eating me inside, it made me cry.
For all I know.. I deserved it.

I miss you.
I'm sorry.
Let's start again
can we go back to the beginning?

I'll do whatever it takes to bring you back
I don't want to lose you
Not this way..

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