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A flawed novice observer.
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The crowd.

Saturday, September 22, 2012

This is us, (almost) every night.

Chipmunk (20), DIIM/4
  • initiates the dinner - unless there's an MU or other derby football matches, then it's Batman
  • buys the drink, orders and brings the food to (almost) everyone.
  • be the butt of jokes.
  • laughs hysterically because of reasons
  • listens when someone's talking because it's fun
  • cheerfully trolls at times because it's fun
  • reads and analyses people because it's interesting.
  • tries to tolerate Batman's mood swings, routine trolls and melancholic attacks
  • suffers mini heart attacks because of Mental's mental antics.
  • listens to Terminator's tales of his girlfriend because it's.. funny
  • puzzled by Batman's infinite support for that guy for 3 semesters straight
  • talks chess, football, movies and music with Batman
  • occasionally the counselor of the party 

Hamster (20 in November) DIIM/4
  • watches Twitter TL.
  • watches people.
  • comes up with questions and stories.
  • cheerfully trolled at, on certain times
  • listens to people talking and probably reading people as well.
  • rejoices when Chipmunk becomes the butt of jokes.
  • puts up with Batman's mood swings.
  • barely finishes food, if anything
  • listens to Terminator's tales of his girlfriend
  • talks current news and human nature with Batman and Chipmunk
  • always the honest one in the party

Batman (19) DBST/3

  • orders HIS drink and food through Chipmunk; because his legs cramped/heavy butt/simply lazy
  • would do anything to get another drink - terrifies Chipmunk by acting like this creature and says, "burupya!" ---> 
  • comes up with the stories - talks almost non-stop - obviously needs someone to talk to (read: let off some steam)
  • talks to his mother on the phone for almost an hour.
  • barely leaves his seat unless when he needs to pee due to constant caffeine consumption
  • when stressed and tired, moody as hell
  • when 'reminiscing', suffers melancholic attacks
  • teases Chipmunk about that guy
  • teases everyone, actually (teasing is an understatement)
  • randomly goes "Oppa Gangnam Style."
  • suffers from insomnia - hence the nickname. wait, also because he loves Batman with a burning passion - sees himself as an 'eccentric billionaire'
  • on the positive side, he cares for his friends and family - a rare kind, almost mutant-like
  • plans how to skip class
  • skips class
  • the baby (because of his demands)/problem solver/literally the walking encyclopedia

Terminator (19 in December) DBS/2
  • talks about his girlfriend.
  • talks TO his girlfriend over the phone.
  • texts his girlfriend and occasionally laughs at the texts
  • watches the TV.
  • asks for at least 2 bucks from Chipmunk on many different occasions to buy fried chicken/chocolate/drinks
  • eats fried chicken
  • eats
  • cheerfully trolls Chipmunk along with Batman because it's fun
  • cheerfully trolls Batman because it's funnier and because he has lived long enough (dah lama hidup)
  • the lovesick nutcase of the party

Mental (18) DBST/1
  • by far the most enthusiastic troll-er of Batman, partly because he is Batman's schoolmate
  • occasionally orders food and drink through Chipmunk because Batman taught him so
  • laughs at Batman
  • tweets and watches the TL
  • laughs at the tweets
  • always on BBM
  • laughs at it as well
  • watches the TV
  • talks about basketball and the campus's team with Batman - they were teammates in school; and a potential recruit to the campus's team
  • looks like a mid 20s young adult due to his height, acts like an 11-year-old
  • when tired/bored/stressed, goes on a mental streak and begins acting hilariously mental
  • he's just mental.
  • if Apple's a teenager, this guy's a kid.

Apple (18 in September) DIIM/1
  • observing her seniors being themselves - possibly terrified and traumatized
  • Batman's friend's chess disciple - potential recruit to the campus's team
  • holds a poker face sometimes
  • rejoices along with Chipmunk when Batman gets trolled at
  • goes hysterical when Mental goes mental
  • puts up with the guys' trolls on her faculty
  • pays attention along with Chipmunk when Batman goes chess mode
  • the teenager of the party.

this is a post, to remember us by.

Good luck in your Finals, you guys

Saturday, September 15, 2012

His timing is always perfect.

'Can we have dinner tonight and play chess for a bit?
Go ahead and bring whoever you want.
It's just that.. I had a rough week, and about to have another one coming..
and I wanted to go home so bad,  just to see my mum's face
but I can't.. so if you're free tonight
let's bring our laptops and do.. whatever.'

Had a bad week.
The workload. Chasing deadlines.
Tests. Quizzes. Presentations. Paperworks.
Yeah, typical things of a typical student life.

Except that I don't quite feel like myself lately
and so I messed up.
I screwed up.
Nothing much, really - it's just that I feel I could've done so much better.

Last Wednesday - yup, this week Wednesday
I impulsively called mum, telling her I'm coming home.
Impulsively, because I couldn't hold it in any longer.
It was intended to be a 2-day break; just for the weekend.
Just to see her face.

Simply put, I wanted to go home so bad.
I just want my mum.


Things pop up. And then I had a bad feeling.
And then I called mum, telling her I can't go back
because of my work.

I feel like a total asshole.
I mean
did I just prioritize my work over my mum?
It may only be diploma now.
But what if, by God's grace, I get a job
and then I did it again
and again
and again?

I was down. Down in spirals.
Sent a text to my bro -
'Can we have dinner tonight and play chess for a bit?
Go ahead and bring whoever you want.
It's just that.. I had a rough week, and about to have another one coming..
and I wanted to go home so bad, just to see my mum's face
but I can't.. so if you're free tonight
let's bring our laptops and do.. whatever.'

Typing the text is one thing.
Sending it.. was another.
As much as I want to get it off my system
I don't want to be so selfish
by only thinking of my own.. 'troubles'.
Spent over 40 minutes arguing with myself
'to send or not to send?'

Then I hit backspace on the chess thing, and send it.
But well, when he finally came for dinner
he brought chess sets with him.
Needless to say, alhamdulillah - one of the best nights ever.
On the way back on sending my junior back to her block,
I asked if he got the text.

Turns out he didn't.


Didn't know if there was class
so I withdrew some money
and helped a friend for her registration for the MPP election.
And then had brunch with my bro afterwards.

In the afternoon, after Zohor prayers
just when I was about to begin on my assignment
there came a call, from my bro.

"You ni sure ke ni tak balik?"
"Haah, esok ada discussion untuk buat assignment paper repeat.."
"My Statistics paper tonight got cancelled."
"Eh? Why cancel?"
"Haaa, that's why."
"Soooo nak balik tak?"
*terkejut* "Eerrrr bila?"
"Kalau boleh sekarang la."
*terus bangun* "Why so fast?!"
"Why so slow?"
"Damn it, man; I'm not in my baju kurung anymore!"
"Haa dah tu cepat la siap! Nak bagi bape lama ni?"
"Err, 30 minutes?"
"Hah? 30 minutes?! Haih.. lamanya.. haa hurry up, cepat siap!"
"Aaaaa ok ok!"

Despite getting a night-time ticket later
and had to wait a reaaaaaally long time for the time to tick in
it was worth it.
The discussion? Bagitau awal awal tak dapat datang
lagipun banyak bahagian dah siap!
Semuanya terima kasih kepada email :)

I told him
"seriously, thanks for the last minute call,
for asking me to come back here with you."
I told him everything, and added,
"I guess, I can't run away from coming home."
He chuckled.

"I had a rough week too."

He didn't get the text.
But the timing He has set
and how I actually get to play chess and go home, both thanks to him,
it was mind-blowing; I was out of words as to how to narrate this story better.

But, the way I see it
perhaps, He has chosen coming home
as the best move he and I should take at the time.
And we only followed the course of events
that He had arranged for us.
Indeed, it was worth it.

Thank you, Allah.

Sunday, September 2, 2012


True indeed - we will embark on different journeys, someday.

It could be a search for success.
Or for everlasting bliss.
Or to pull oneself back together.
Or maybe one that leads to the hereafter.

Simply put, this bond we have
it won't last forever.

I could tell a tale of how I used to have someone
I hold so dear in my heart, once upon a time
the one everyone loved and hated
the one they see as kind
but at the same time, excruciatingly foul
but in the end
it ended.

Or one about my silent prayer when I was 10, or 11
a prayer, to find someone I could call a brother
and how I found not one, but TWO, here
one I looked up to as an older brother
even though he is one year my junior
and another one that I consider as my baby brother
when in truth, we are only 4 months apart.
I could tell you what I understand about them
and how much they mean to me
but I know, and understand well
how this, too, would not last forever.

Or maybe about the angel who loved me relentlessly -
my mother
who took me in
despite my flaws and mistakes
and I knew, when she leaves
no one could give love to me
as much, and as kindly as she does.

Everything I love
will either die in time
or be destroyed against their will.

I know.

But I hope, when we have to leave
we would bid farewell to each other
without a single hint of regret in our hearts.
How we would have done this and that.
Or do this better, or do that less.

My dears,
you are annoying as fak.
you are a pain in the ass.
you and your temper
and your trolls, and mood swings.
and your habits that sometimes I just can't comprehend.
you know, the things you do that make me go wadefak.

But I know I'll miss that so much
when I don't see that anymore.

So while I'm still here, and still have you within my grasp
I'll try my best to put up with every syit you put me through
to stay calm when you tick me off
and be there when you're not.. you.
and show you how much I love you
how much I care
and smack/pinch/strangle you, just for the fun of it

because I know, 'we' don't have forever.

Lagipun, bila lagi nak bermanja kan kan kan.
Lepas ni semua kerja, kahwin, beranak, bercucu, bercicit.

That way, I'll live an epic life
and let it be filled with stories - mine, yours, ours
stories worth telling my kids.
and grandkids.
and great grandkids if I'll actually live that long.

While I still have the chance
I'll make sure you know
you really mean that much to me
and that I'm such a lucky person and totally grateful
that I have the godsend honor of meeting and knowing you.